Healing Arts Report

Practices for an Evolving Life

They Don't Tell You How

“You need to love yourself more.” “You shouldn’t feel that way.” “Always put other people first. Don’t be selfish.” The one thing that is missing from all this good advice is telling you HOW to do it. We introduce you to practical tools using your own character traits to support you in creating practical answers to those questions. Read more here.

Read more

Books

Two memoirs tell about times of extreme personal growth in the author’s life. Sunny Side Up is a window into the early 70s when certain young adults were searching for a way to head off society’s path bent on materialism. The Transparent Feather tells of a dying author passing the torch of writing to her new friend cum student.

Read more

Mission

You can love yourself and other people as well. At Healing Arts Report we explore fulfilling personal development that at the same time serves to create the shift to a peaceful new world paradigm.

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” ―C.G. Jung

Read more
//
you're reading...

Blog

Small Changes Change Your World

A friend told me a story yesterday about changing her attitude. When her children were still young enough to be living at home, she worked two sixteen-hour shifts at a hospital on weekends. This schedule allowed her to be home during the week with her children while her husband was at his job.

She described driving home from those long grueling hours looking forward to nothing but the pleasure of being home again, seeing her family, and enjoying the comforts of her own environment.

But when she walked in the door, she’d spot all the dishes that needed to be washed and the other debris of daily life with two children. She’d greet her husband with, “Wasn’t there anything you could pick up and put away? Do you have to wait for me to come home to do it?”

Their conversation would devolve from there. Then she’d ask herself, “Why was the reality of being home so different from what I’d been imagining during the drive back?” And she figured it out.

She set herself the task that the first thing out of her mouth would be something positive. She told herself, “If I can’t do that, I’ll keep my mouth shut and just smile.” It wasn’t easy. She had to remind herself, “Do not say anything negative. Greet your family with the enthusiasm you were feeling about returning home. Do not complain. Do not accuse them of anything.”

i'm asking him to change his ways.

Click here for The Man In The Mirror

It wasn’t easy to avoid her habit of being critical, but when she managed it, their improved communication was a reward in itself.

Then she teased me by saying how much her husband changed. She added, “Instead of trying to get him to change, I changed something I had control over—myself! And it worked like a miracle.”

Her story reminded me of another telling story about attitudes that I experienced when I was working as a waitress in a beach side hotel shortly after graduating college. The hostess was a young woman not much older than the waitresses and she had favorites among the wait staff.

There were cliques, and certain waitresses were unfairly assigned the busiest tables so they could make more money. At slow times those girls often gathered together with the hostess and gossiped about the others. They complained about and argued with the cooks, they ignored the older cashier, and generally created a competitive unfriendly atmosphere.Screen shot 2014-04-01 at 1.28.55 PM

Being a newbie, I would sometimes get caught up in it myself.  But as time went by, the older cashier and I would chat about how we could change the attitudes. The first thing we thought of was discouraging gossip.

Not much later, the young hostess moved away. The cashier was given her job. Now we had the opportunity to implement our gentler ideas. Since there was a high turnover among the waitresses, when the cashier interviewed new ones, she told them that gossip was not tolerated, that they were to help each other out when any of them got overloaded and that treating each other and the cooks with respect was expected.

That's why I'm starting with me

That’s why I’m starting with me

I’d never seen change happen so quickly in a workplace. The staff became friendly and helpful. There were no more big blowups among the customers, cooks, and waitresses. I felt immensely grateful for the experience because it showed me that it could be done. It’s easier when the person in charge has the right ideals because a leader sets the tone of the workplace.

It’s good to remember, though, that in the first example, the change did not come from above. The real change in attitude came from my friend’s commitment to her inner ideal.

PRACTICE. Can you think of a situation where you can institute a change like these people did?

CONTACT. If you have a situation similar to either of the ones above and would like to make a change, phone me for a free 20-minute consultation, and we’ll discuss solutions suited to you.

Discussion

2 Responses to “Small Changes Change Your World”

  1. This is so true! I love this article you wrote. It applies to so many situations in life. Positive thoughts, actions, and reactions should be our daily way of life. Thank you for reminding me to stay true to happiness and love.

    Posted by Robin Henry | April 5, 2014, 4:22 am
  2. BJ, you have hit on a piece of magic. I bet you can teach us more if we work with you, too. This is one of the five (and five only) “secrets of lasting love” that the Hendricks give in their book, _Lasting Love_. These are open “secrets”–they are only veiled by what our intellect or small selves tell us. I LOVE these stories and how they have changed, you and would love to read more of what wisdom you now have was grown by these good women.

    Posted by Beth Raps | April 5, 2014, 11:21 am

Post a Comment

Current day month ye@r *